I Didn't Rob George Carlin

I'm going for the heavy-metal, new-age vagrant hobo look. I want to get ahead of that fashion curve because, well, you know already that fashion is my life.

Maybe I need a bizness card: Silas Scarborough, Heavy Metal New Age Vagrant Hobo Guitar Player - I play for fish dinners. Hmmm. Might need some work yet.

We watched "It's Bad for Ya" last night. It may be the last big hall performance George Carlin did and it's excellent. Earlier in the evening we had watched a performance from very early in his career and the difference was astounding. It was fortuitous as we hadn't planned on seeing either one. To see, at random, both of them in one evening is clear evidence of the work of Satan as this cat just does not feckin' believe. But listen to him and tell me anything he says isn't true. No more bullshit!

It looks like I've stolen a lot of my blog stuff from him but I had never seen the "It's Bad for Ya" show until last night and really had written off Carlin. I thought he was a baby version of Lenny Bruce, that he stole all his stuff and never went beyond but "It's Bad for Ya" isn't derivative of anything.

Seeing both shows in the same night was especially cool for me as the first one featured the Seven Words You Can't Say on Television, pretty much his anthem. It was amusing but it wasn't all that funny. Word games are for sharpies at cocktail parties but don't have much interest beyond that. So, for the first performance he was showing his cleverness with words but the second one showed his cleverness with concepts and seeing that evolution in one evening was pretty feckin' cool.

You've seen me saying that God doesn't give a fuck many times here and it may have looked like I was ripping him off but I had no idea of this material. I'm not getting defensive as I don't give a fuck and you'll believe whatever you want anyway. If you didn't, you'd be a feckin' sheep and, despite my Scottish heritage, I have a tough time imagining a serious relationship with a feckin' sheep.

This is sort of ripped-off from him but I'm going with it anyway as the trouble with Second Life is too many dumb motherfuckers. You aren't dumb motherfuckers as you come to my gigs and think I'm pretty cool so this is really great evidence that you are cool as hell smart motherfuckers. But the dumb motherfuckers were getting to me and the trouble is they'll take up all the light so you lose sight of the smart motherfuckers but I ain't fergettin'.

Tell me you don't think this stuff too. I don't worry about much but I do worry about dumb motherfuckers. When you're driving your car, you know some dumb motherfucker out there is just waiting for the chance to drive his car into yours, causing you to die in hideous pain. When you're walking around downtown, you know there's some dumb crackhead motherfucker who wants to kill you for twenty dollars worth of dope. Dumb motherfuckers.

But we're all dumb motherfuckers in the end and, yes, you can file that one along with your favorite pithy quotes from Nietzsche. We've got to save Ford and GM from going bankrupt but why do you give a fuck. All those lost jobs, all that misery. Right. That is such bullshit.

America needs 'x' percent of cars in a year. It takes 'y' percent of people to build them. If Ford and GM go bust then, say, 20% of the cars for a year wouldn't get built. So Honda and Toyota will need to build 20% more cars. Who are you thinking will build those guys, some Japanese guys you never saw? Bullshit. Those cars are built in America by Americans.

So they need more people to make more cars. Who does that? Bingo. The Americans who were laid off from GM and Ford. You win today's No More Bullshit Prize.

But, hey, all that money for the car went over to Japan, right? Bullshit, most of it comes back here to pay the Americans to build them.

Oh, you want to save the management teams from GM and Ford. That's understandable as they've been selling your ass out to overseas jobs for years. Honda and Toyota are sending jobs TO America while GM and Ford are sending American jobs somewhere else so, help me with this, why do you give a fuck what happens to the managers from GM and Ford. How about sending them a love note that reads, "Loved NAFTA. Your job is in Tokyo. Kiss my ass."

Fuck them. They sucked at their jobs so now the government wants to give them a fat check. Same with those fat fucks at the banks. These people are fucking incompetent. How much evidence do you need. They fucked up the entire world economy so what else do you need to know. Is that something you admire, want on your resume, something you'd tell all your friends. Hey there, George, I put in a long one today, fucking up the world economy can really drain you sometimes. These people are feckin' morons so why are you protecting them?

They didn't really fuck up anything except their own fat fuck corporations, none of which were doing a single goddamn thing for you in the first place so, please, I'd really like to understand why you give a fuck if these people are sent to the bottom of the ocean, other than how they would smell things up for fish.

Wall Street is holding the biggest fire sale in decades and you're all sitting around out there trying to figure out how to save these bastards. Fuck them.

So what if the economy disintegrates. You're in a house. Who's going to take it from you. The whole country is bankrupt, every house will be foreclosed. Who's going to take that house from you. If anyone tries to take it from you then shoot him because, what the fuck, there's no law and you can cap his ass. We have more guns than they do, many more.

Maybe the vision is of decades of despair with cities afire and people regressed to the point of tribal savagery. Whoa, wouldn't that be grand, huh! We could hunt each other with clubs to get meat for our children. Man, you seriously believe this bullshit?

Fuck that.

It's going to be alright. I've already lost my ass and I seriously don't give a fuck. I can tell you, hey, it ain't that bad. Sure, that's easy to say when Sundance and Andrea are taking care of me in this luxy condo but I know what's coming and there will be coolness. All they can do now is put a cap in my ass and we've already covered that I don't give a fuck so anything short of that is goodness the way I'm seeing it. (Nurse Judi, I know that 'taking care of me' won't go past you and I'll call you. I imagine you've already guessed I ain't fixed.)

It's the nature of text to amplify things and it's easy to read anger that isn't there. Of course I'm pissed off by circumstance but I'm not pissed off by nature. I've ranted on CNN (substitute your favorite network, makes no difference) for presenting distorted news that presents only the worst of the situation thereby exacerbating it but maybe this blog is doing the same thing.

So I'm going to keep doing it. I need a tune called "The Capping of the Fat Bobs" and I'll ever so reluctantly suspend my beliefs that are so far past the left that you can get arrested for just thinking them. All that those fat fuck greedy and corrupt corporate motherfuckers will get rounded up and we'll shoot 'em. Every fuckin' one of 'em. Damn, do it with a Quentin Tarantino choreography. No-one does death better than Tarantino.

Yeah, and play the tune so fast that you have a hard time keeping drummers because they keep having heart attacks when you play it. That's how it goes.

No, I'm not serious. It's all bullshit. Fuck, you haven't been paying attention and now we're going to have to start over. Well, just watch the show: "It's Bad for Ya" by George Carlin.