Phantasmablogia Rock Music

Monday

Mon, 22 Mar 2010 06:09:07 EST

Your words strike for redemption
but they show your deep disease.
Your eyes are filled with hatred
Your soul is an aimless wheeze.

I can't get this stuff out of my head. Everything goes back to the decades of selfishness from these people. I don't want to write about them. I don't even want to think about them.

Everything goes around and around. What the fuck do they want of me. Why would they call me back to town and then snub me. Is this all some stupid game or what.

I really don't get it. I stare at the ceiling all night and wonder just what the fuck they get out of doing this. They obviously want something or they would just leave me alone but what the fuck is it.

The whole point of the tour was to commit suicide at the end of it. Everyone else knew that so why the fuck do they keep riding me. Come on back, Silas. We need you.

Yeah, right. They need me back here just to have someone to hate.

But suicide is my pleasure,
it's my heroin, my release.
It's that cold syringe
sliding into my arm
just as slow as sex
on a Sunday morning.
But I can't do it just yet.
Oh no.

I want that syringe
in my other arm too.
I want to anticipate
how good it will be
to make everything stop.
But not just yet.
Oh yes, do believe junkies do this.
I've watched them.
But I never tried it myself, not yet.
Not just yet.

Just Killing Time

Sun, 21 Mar 2010 21:37:02 EST

They're watching me. I didn't know that until today.

Even dumping the blog won't fix it as they could google silas and find out where I went.

I can't deal with their judgmental ways. They can't watch what I do.

They've got their sniffers looking for something to bust my ass. Wouldn't hear of saying anything about what I've suggested to fix things.

It's all got to stop. Silas has been gone for a long time. I just want the noise to stop.

I'm right, I'm right, I'm right.

Everybody's right.

Everybody's arguing. All the time. All my life. They argue, and argue and argue.

It's chatter, batter, mucky, sticky, meaningless.

About what.

They talk endlessly about nothing.

Usually it's nothing. Now it's me.

So still it's nothing.

Next week it'll be thistles.

Just got to argue.

And hate something.

I feel kind of apologetic that the tour turned into a disaster.

Dream big, it just might happen. But mostly it won't.

Rules of Engagement

It ain't real.

And they go, ya yah, you smoke too much reefer, man.

But I smoke the reefer because it's not real, not to make it that way.

There is peace and calmness in the ganja. The roaring is too much otherwise.

There's no song in death for a young man's ears. All he'll hear is crying. There's no song in life for an old man's tears. In a moment he'll be flying.

Larry the Lop said you're next.

Oh, ja!

You're next, baybeee!!

But I already knew that.

Larry the Lop is my bro from way back but he doesn't empty the voice mail on his damn cell (laughs).

Hanging Out with Hobbits

Sun, 21 Mar 2010 09:53:25 EST

There was a flurry of interest a while back in 'hobbits' discovered on an Indonesian island. They were so called because the tallest of them was only about a meter in height. The excitement lasted only until people realized they were fossils and there are no hobbits running around today.

The reason it's interesting to me now is that recent research has shown the hobbits are much older than originally thought and date back about a million years. Homo sapiens has only been on the planet for about one hundred and twenty thousand years so most of that time paralleled the existence of the hobbits.

There is some thinking that the size of the hobbits means that they were isolated in the island environment. It's not uncommon for island species to become smaller than their continental brethren. However, the brain capacity for Homo floresiensis (i.e. hobbit) is about 400 cc's and that of Homo sapiens is about 1200 cc's. This leads researchers to think that Homo erectus, the progenitor to Homo sapiens, was not necessarily the basis for Homo floresiensis.

So that's all scientific and as sexually-exciting as a date with Glenn Beck...

What we hear of the hobbits that their skeletons were found with some stone tools. Extend that as you're only seeing the evidence that survived. If they were using tools then they likely had some sort of garb they wore. Humans love colors so they undoubtedly stained their clothes or dyed them in some way. Humans also have a strange thing for hats so they prob'ly had some kind of headgear as well.

Lose the idea of the puffball Ewoks from Star Wars as Homo floeresiensis wouldn't get into People magazine any sooner than your average chimp. Nevertheless, there are some general similarities as H. floresiensis was small, not hugely intelligent, and gathered in organized groups.

It doesn't seem unreasonable to suppose that our ancestors met the hobbits at some point. There's no evidence that the species inter-bred but that doesn't preclude different types of encounters.

Perhaps in the pre-history we can find the sources of the stories of magic and different types of beings that turn up in the legends. There will never be any definitive answer as to what types of encounters, if any, took place between H. sapiens or H. erectus and H. floresiensis but the possibility existed for tens of thousands of years.

Just Passing Time

Sun, 21 Mar 2010 08:12:29 EST

There's no way to write anything good while I see how Buzzkill and Mulan are behaving. They forgot every single thing my ol' Dad taught them. There's only one motivation up here and that's to get everything you can for yourself. Fortunately, only two of them are doing it but it's really not at all good to see it. Not surprisingly, it's the two who always said everyone else did it. I bet my ol' Mother feels really proud seeing this.

Air - La Femme D'Argent

Sun, 21 Mar 2010 03:19:46 EST

The film for this video was shot just four days before the 1906 earthquake in San Francisco. The footage is really extraordinary:

Pope Benny the Rat

Sat, 20 Mar 2010 09:40:33 EST

You know you trust the pastor
He's taught everything you know
So come on to the back room
It's time for you to grow.

We'll keep it all between us
It's a matter for the church.
If anyone should ask you,
don't tell them where it hurts.

Pope Benny the Rat
I've got a real thing for schoolboys
Come and sit here, son,
and I'll show you all my toys.

In time you'll start to like it
My love will make you strong
Just accept the things I'm doing
and I'll do them all night long.

Your mother knows my habits
but she really loves the Lord.
She'll give away her children
before risking his gold sword.

Pope Benny the Rat
I've got a real thing for schoolboys
Come and sit here, son,
and I'll show you all my toys.

Right, right. Do it like "Uncle Ernie." Too bad Keith Moon and John Entwhistle are dead.

No Scrip for Satchmo

Sat, 20 Mar 2010 09:21:54 EST

Doesn't look like anything is coming in from the online pharmacy. It'd prob'ly be easy if I were shopping for Viagra as that's all over the place.

Let the record show that I tried to find the stuff. I've got Lisinopril so I guess I take two now (laughs).

Gigi's father can write scrip so that's a possible angle. It's not a crisis. It's just a pain in the ass and I've pretty much hit my limit on pains in the ass.

(Europeans, I'm not making up a thing and have been skipping meds just to stretch them out this far. Without insurance, doctors won't see you at all even if they're told you'll pay for it.)

My stuff's in the truck. There's nothing to clean up. Fuck it.

No, this isn't a death threat. It's an I don't give a fuck threat. And I don't (laughs).

Leave the world to swinish politicians and pervert priests. It deserves what it gets. Nobody cares what the Iraq War costs but suddenly it's a big deal to pay for health care. Fuck it.

Goddamn Pope Benedict

Sat, 20 Mar 2010 06:49:53 EST

"No one imagines that this painful situation will be resolved swiftly," Benedict said in his letter. (CNN: Pope says 'sorry' for Irish church abuse)

Well hell yes I imagine this will be solved quickly, fat boy. I just don't imagine it will be solved quickly by you. After all, it was rampant in Germany while you were Archbishop, wasn't it.

Yeah, yeah, this information is coming to light. It came to light centuries ago and the Catholic Church did nothing but cover it up.

It's staggering as Benedict even whines in his letter about persecution of Catholics. Dude, wake the hell up. Priests are fucking little boys. No-one gives a shit about your persecution complex.

When Cardinals are involved in this, the Pope's claim that he didn't know shows only one of two things: either he's too stupid for the job or he's too twisted to deserve it. All the evidence points to the latter as the previous Pope used the same excuse.

The Catholic Church is a sexual predator. Until it's treated like one, this will never stop. You don't get a pass on criminal behavior just because you're wearing the cloth. They didn't just betray Catholic believers, they betrayed us all, most particularly the children.

Poem for the First Day of Spring

Fri, 19 Mar 2010 14:42:50 EST

Life progresses to a stable state of frustrated futures,
Raised on a hopeless desperation,
Rubbing days into Dust on a waterless hone.

None of the doors are open, and they lead to nowhere.
The open window, shows only a Gray Nothingless
A featureless place.

- Alex Fraser - October 1978

Whoa, sunshine, what bit yer ass that day, huh?? (laughs)

I've got a few tips on the poetry there, boobie.

'Rubbing days into Dust on a waterless hone.' Now that I like. That tells me total grinding misery. Love the economy of words. Maybe grinding works better than rubbing.

You say the doors aren't open but you tell me they lead to Nothingless, whatever the hell that might be. But how would you know that if you didn't open one. Think about it, young grasshopper (laughs).

Being bleak is very clever but is it affectation. Life ain't never what you expect it to be, bluesman.

So that was my ol' Dad and he wrote that when he was about my age.

Whoa, suddenly I'm in an emotional / spiritual phase shifter. It's like my ol' Dad and I are going woot, woot, woot spinning through each other. Life suddenly becomes like a Leslie organ. My ol' Dad and I are a Moody Blues song (laughs).

Cardinal Sean Brady and the Mutawe'een

Fri, 19 Mar 2010 04:06:38 EST

Sean Brady revealed today that he was the secret lover of Robert Preston during the shooting of the movie, "Victor Victoria," and he announced that he will play the role himself in an upcoming production in Dublin. Finally his dream will come true and he will get to deliver the movie line that has so motivated his life: "There's nothing so pitiful as a queen with a cold."

(Sean Brady was involved in a bust of a pervert priest about thirty-five years ago. Since then he has done nothing so, naturally, he was promoted to cardinal and, as we're seeing now, predatory priests ran rampant the entire time.)

Also in religious news this morning, we have the Mutawe'een of Saudi Arabia. They're the religious police. Yes, religious feckin' cops. So you get busted by these ones for sorcery and they can execute you (seriously). In today's news, the Mutawe'een announced that any kids putting teeth under their pillows will henceforth be charged, tried, and executed like dogs for their sorcery.

Nephew Requests Very Loud Music

Fri, 19 Mar 2010 02:19:42 EST

The new power supply for the Roland GR-20 guitar synthesizer works just fine and the guys at Guitar Center just gave it to me so that was pretty cool. I was very concerned that the synth was fried when I tried to use it in Holland as replacing it with the current model would cost $729. (Yes, and that's the cheap one, kids)

So now the guitar I busted over there is fixed. The guitar/synth I busted is now fixed. The camera I busted remains busted but, hey, I've been busy.

My nephew arrived from Japan a little while ago and I was delighted to hear that he knows of my music and was just dying to hear it really, really loud. That was very cool as there's nothing Barbi likes quite so much as when I play really, really loud, particularly if I smoke the place out when I do it. I think possibly she likes the smoke the most. Or maybe the lasers, it's tough to tell.

I got one nephew to believe I keep a sheep in my room. They already told this nephew about the sheep so now I need new material.

Lotho said screw work yesterday so he called up Mrs Lotho and they went riding around in the sunshine with Baby Anastasia. Yep, that's how you do it.

With any luck, Mulan will start doing stained glass work again. The lady is a very talented artist and that's not just because she's my sister. She's done nudes, stagecoaches, all kinds of things in stained glass and they were magnificent. So then she took off to have babies and didn't do it anymore. I mentioned this to one of her babies who is now all grown-up and he got an idea. We'll see what happens.

But the big art news today is that one of The Pixies has got a piece entered in an art show at the University of Tennessee and this is cool as she's not even in the Art Dept. She's little but she paints with huge power and it'll be fascinating to see how that goes for her.

So it's all good. The time down with Lotho was just right as both of us were a little mixed-up about things. Coming up here and hanging with Barbi and Scotland Yard was just right also and for the same reasons.

I'll hang here for a bit as there's a clean-up to be done and it's kind of teary stuff but it's alright. So long as no-one sees them, the tears never happened, right? (laughs)

I've been spinning around in circles for quite a while as I knew my ol' Mother wanted me here but there was no way to stay and still have any chance at a Galactic Tour. That doesn't mean at all that she laid any trips on me. She never, never tried to guilt me into staying in-town and I left for the first time when I was about twenty.

So read that the other way around and I don't have the faintest kind of excuse for sitting on my dead ass and doing nothing. I got really afraid of the P.A. as you can't even imagine how loud this thing will be. I'm not exaggerating about ten thousand watts. This thing is so loud that'll it'll fool my parents completely. They only THINK they've got away from the noise (laughs).

Yeah, and I'll claim that as another one-liner for comedy in the face of diversity.

1) "The first thing Alex will ask for is a cup of tea"

This one from Mrs Lotho and it got a laugh out of Lotho at just the right time.

2) Alex put on all the good weather yesterday because he thought he would get lucky last night.

I'm claiming this one although I know others have repeated it (laughs).

3) The first thing Alex said was, "Who was supposed to bring the Viagra?"

I know I got this one first!

4) Now that I've got this P.A., they STILL can't get away from the noise!

Brand-new (laughs)

Anne Fraser, Lady of the World

Thu, 18 Mar 2010 06:18:03 EST

Anne Fraser lived on four continents and raised a family of six children, thirteen grandchildren, and five great-grandchildren. Her extended family included the students taught by her husband, Alex Fraser, as she knew the names of all of them and they came back or called, year after year, to let her know how they were doing.

She was fascinated by politics and her experience ranged from the British colonial times in China to her determination to vote in American politics. She tuned into the political commentaries on television and vigorously expressed her opinions with those who came to visit.

Anne took great pride in the accomplishments of her husband but gave little credit to herself in what she did to help him such as typing and proofreading the books he wrote. She was much more a part of his success than she ever accepted.

She gave her children her great love of reading, her love of music, and her fearless determination to take on anything without complaint. She also knitted blankets for all of her children, their spouses, and their kids. The task took years and she completed it only a few months ago.

Anne Fraser is together now with the man with whom she traveled the world for over fifty years. She has earned her rest but quite likely on seeing her he asked for a cup of tea and then wanted to show her around.

Technorati: anne fraser alex fraser obituary

Sun is Shining in Cincinnati - Updated

My ol' Mother picked a pretty good day to check out of the planet. It's sunny and beautiful and today she'll be with my ol' Dad in a way that's private family stuff.

I can't do this viewing stuff, kids. You all do what you need but I can't be part of that. I don't need or want closure and I'm not even sure what it means except I'm sure I don't want it (laughs).

Yesterday, Mulan said to me, "Those who loved her were with her."

I didn't know what to make of it as that can be twisted in so many different ways. First strike off this as guilting as in if you loved her you would have been here. A more benign view is that she was surrounded by love when she died. The real view is even better than that and I didn't learn of it until a few minutes ago.

Barbi and Mulan usually can't be in the same room with each other but they were together with our ol' Mother at the end. When Mulan says that of Barbi it says a lot about both of them and that's the meaning I will keep. Both have shown extraordinary grace during a very difficult time.

I'm not only not upset, I'm not upset about being not upset. I'm thinking of how my sisters were so proud of it when they got her to say 'fuck' and writing about it won't do it justice. This was prime-time comedy. Imagine this supremely proper Brit lady wrenching up everything inside herself to get this word out and then letting that baby rip. This was falling-down funny stuff.

We'll miss her? Of course but so will a lot of people. She went to all of my ol' Dad's classes and she knew every one of those students by name, by year, by class. Alex couldn't keep track of that stuff at all so they'd work it as a tag team and the kids loved it. These were super Einstein brainiac med students but, yah, they were kids and they did love it. They'd come back for years after, just like for Mr Chips, to visit and let them know how they were doing.

It's alright. She saw more than you or I will likely ever see.

Update:

I've been nominated to write the obituary and I prob'ly shouldn't use the part about how they worked on increasing her vocabulary. Or maybe I should (laughs)

Tennessee is a Very Good Place to Be

Wed, 17 Mar 2010 09:03:38 EST

The last few days have been difficult but I'm sure I've been in the right place as Lotho and Mrs Lotho and I have talked about many things. Baby Anastasia has offered her thoughts as well but I don't talk baby too well

I'm sure Lotho is going to be ok down here. That's not due to me, I just know it from being here. Barbi sounds ok on the phone but I'd like to see for myself.

I'll be in Cincinnati by mid-afternoon.